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- It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was
- the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the
- epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the
- season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring
- of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before
- us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven,
- we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was
- so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest
- authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil,
- in the superlative degree of comparison only.
- There were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a plain
- face, on the throne of England; there were a king with a large
- jaw and a queen with a fair face, on the throne of France. In
- both countries it was clearer than crystal to the lords of the
- State preserves of loaves and fishes, that things in general were
- settled for ever.
- It was the year of Our Lord one thousand seven hundred and
- seventy-five. Spiritual revelations were conceded to England at
- that favoured period, as at this. Mrs. Southcott had recently
- attained her five-and-twentieth blessed birthday, of whom a
- prophetic private in the Life Guards had heralded the sublime
- appearance by announcing that arrangements were made for the
- swallowing up of London and Westminster. Even the Cock-lane ghost
- had been laid only a round dozen of years, after rapping out its
- messages, as the spirits of this very year last past
- (supernaturally deficient in originality) rapped out theirs. Mere
- messages in the earthly order of events had lately come to the
- English Crown and People, from a congress of British subjects in
- America: which, strange to relate, have proved more important to
- the human race than any communications yet received through any
- of the chickens of the Cock-lane brood.
- France, less favoured on the whole as to matters spiritual
- than her sister of the shield and trident, rolled with exceeding
- smoothness down hill, making paper money and spending it. Under
- the guidance of her Christian pastors, she entertained herself,
- besides, with such humane achievements as sentencing a youth to
- have his hands cut off, his tongue torn out with pincers, and his
- body burned alive, because he had not kneeled down in the rain to
- do honour to a dirty procession of monks which passed within his
- view, at a distance of some fifty or sixty yards. It is likely
- enough that, rooted in the woods of France and Norway, there were
- growing trees, when that sufferer was put to death, already
- marked by the Woodman, Fate, to come down and be sawn into
- boards, to make a certain movable framework with a sack and a
- knife in it, terrible in history. It is likely enough that in the
- rough outhouses of some tillers of the heavy lands adjacent to
- Paris, there were sheltered from the weather that very day, rude
- carts, bespattered with rustic mire, snuffed about by pigs, and
- roosted in by poultry, which the Farmer, Death, had already set
- apart to be his tumbrils of the Revolution. But that Woodman and
- that Farmer, though they work unceasingly, work silently, and no
- one heard them as they went about with muffled tread: the rather,
- forasmuch as to entertain any suspicion that they were awake, was
- to be atheistical and traitorous.
- In England, there was scarcely an amount of order and
- protection to justify much national boasting. Daring burglaries
- by armed men, and highway robberies, took place in the capital
- itself every night; families were publicly cautioned not to go
- out of town without removing their furniture to upholsterers'
- warehouses for security; the highwayman in the dark was a City
- tradesman in the light, and, being recognised and challenged by
- his fellow-tradesman whom he stopped in his character of "the
- Captain," gallantly shot him through the head and rode away; the
- mail was waylaid by seven robbers, and the guard shot three dead,
- and then got shot dead himself by the other four, "in consequence
- of the failure of his ammunition": after which the mail was
- robbed in peace; that magnificent potentate, the Lord Mayor of
- London, was made to stand and deliver on Turnnam Green, by one
- highwayman, who despoiled the illustrious creature in sight of
- all his retinue; prisoner in London gaols fought battles with
- their turnkeys, and the majesty of the law fired blunderbusses in
- among them, loaded with rounds of shot and ball; thieves snipped
- off diamond crosses from the necks of noble lords at court
- drawing-rooms; musketeers went into St. Giles's, to search for
- contraband goods, and the mob fired on the musketeers, and the
- musketeers fired on the mob, and nobody thought any of these
- occurrences much out of the common way. In the midst of them, the
- hangman, ever busy and ever worse than useless, was in constant
- requisition; now, stringing up long rows of miscellaneous
- criminals; now, hanging a housebreaker on Saturday who had been
- taken on Tuesday; now, burning people in the hand at Newgate by
- the dozen, and now burning pamphlets at the door of Westminster
- Hall; today, taking the life of an atrocious murderer, and to-
- morrow of a wretched pilferer who had robbed a farmer's boy of
- sixpence.
- All these things, and a thousand like them, came to pass in
- and close upon the dear old year one thousand seven hundred and
- seventy-five. Environed by them, while the Woodman and the Farmer
- worked unheeded, those two of the large jaws, and those other two
- of the plain and the fair faces, trod with stir enough, and
- carried their divine rights with a high hand. Thus did the year
- one thousand seven hundred and seventy-five conduct their
- Greatnesses, and myriads of small creatures - the creatures of
- this chronicle among the rest - along the roads that lay before
- them.
-